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Health & Fitness

The Landmines of Dating After Forty

By: Kenneth Stepp


Wow! Huge subject in my world. There is no way on earth to include them all. So, I will hit the highlights for you. Maybe if you are toying with the idea of divorce. This will give you pause. If not. Perhaps a light shining in front of you might help. Or scare you. Of course, fear is never my goal. I really don’t care for fear, nor do I have a proper amount of it. Explains all the broken bones I guess.


My history would tell you that I am not one to back down or give up. I have stood up to very powerful people. I not only survived. I thrived. One of my favorite sayings use to be, :I would not want me as an enemy”. I meant it too. People use to hire me to get even for them. My nickname was “Karma”. These days. The longer I am single. The weaker I become. Is being single my Kryptonite? Perhaps it is. I’ve never been so worn down before. I am a very fast learner. But the single’s arena is such a conundrum to me. Fascinating, but mind numbing. I understand something, then it’s gone. Amazing……

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We should back up and talk about the pitfalls I speak of. They are too numerous to write about here. But. There are a few that matter more than the rest. Is there a difference between a first date and a first meet? Not something I ever concerned myself with. But have been sternly corrected for not knowing the difference. Sadly. I still don’t. I just fake knowing it now. The first kiss. This may be the most awkward thing so far. I have only kissed one girl first. All others, I waited for them to “make the move”. Not sure why that bothers me. It just does. Scary stuff.


I remember the very first girl I met. So many firsts. The first kiss. She initiated it. I learned quickly to be assertive though. The first time “together”. Yes. I was afraid I was rusty. Well. I wasn’t. If I can toot my own horn. I did well. You see, i study sexuality and have for years. hours a day. I was ready. It was amazing. The first time to meet the kids. Again. She raised two incredible girls. i only met one. The other is in the military and all over the place. The daughter I met was and is sharp. I am glad that I met her. A quality human in my life. First multi day date. Again. Mine went great. Of course the relationship failed. So, some good and bad memories.

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Landmines? They are not only everywhere. They are plentiful. If you are a weak person. Keep your tennis shoes on. You will want to run as fast as you possibly can. If you are a sociopath. You are just having fun and blaming others. If you are a narcissist. You have the world by the short hairs and your life rocks. If you genuinely care about perfect strangers, you care about the people you not only meet online, but especially in person. You are going to get hurt. Accept that, and do not change. Feeling something for others is our goal as humans.


Good luck on your journey. I am on the same one. Ours only looks weird in our heads. Enjoy meeting new folks, and love as hard as humanly possible.

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